Limbaj licentios in multinationale

Posted: March 23, 2010 by bullshit in Deancracilea
Tags: , , , , ,

In urma cu ceva tim am gasit aceasta chestiuta pe net, care se dadea drept un mail care circula intr-o multinationala. “Textul nu imi apartine dar il pot accepta ca fiind al meu in speranta ca miine ma voi umple de bani.”

All personnel will immediately adhere to the following rules:

1. Words like “futui, în pula mea, pula” and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
2. You will not say “si-a bagat pula” when someone makes a mistake, or s-a cacat pe el if you see someone being reprehended, or “baga-mi-as”, when a major mistake has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb “a se caca” and “a se fute” are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
3. No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred to as “pula de om, cacanaru’ or boul”.
4. Lack of determination will not be referred to as “pulalau” nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as “muiangiu”.
5. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred to as “porcarii”.
6. Do not say “futu-ti mata” if somebody is persistent; do not add “pula mea”, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say “am pus-o” (refer to item 2) nor “o sa ne-o traga” when a matter becomes excessively complicated.
7. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say “du-te-n pula mea” or should you ever substitute “May I help you?” with, “ce pula mea vrei?”.
8. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners “bosorogi împutiti”.
9. Do not say “ia mai mereti-n pula cu cacatu’ asta” when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer “futu-te-n cur” when your assistance is required.
10. You should never call partner representatives as “boul dracului or tâmpitu’ ala”.
11. The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as “pizdulica buna”, “futaciosu’” or “homalau’ lu’ peste”.
12. Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say “ma sterg la cur cu textul asta”. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly.

Peace to turkeys!

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Comments
  1. Ioan Popa says:

    iar texte vechi …

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